


The Fuck-Up You Love

by hedgerowhag



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, for anyone who feels like shit, just sweetness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9393227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedgerowhag/pseuds/hedgerowhag
Summary: “You know what this reminds me of?”“No, but it’s probably something horrible. Knowing you.” Kylo’s skin feels sticky from the blueberry ice melt. The breeze coming from the window catches cool and the air smells of burnt sugar.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nereidlilies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nereidlilies/gifts).



> because enough shit is happening to make up for me not posting things i'll never take off anon
> 
> title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQGcfudKBBs) and inspired by my Significant Annoyance's dream that i couldnt incorporate entirely into this because it's just that ridiculous and wonderful

Sun cracked tarmac and parched weeds growing from the dust. The sky: unblemished, expanding across the desert from mountain slope to mountain slope. The beaten slump of a gas station stands beside a road that cuts through the sand somewhere outside Los Angeles.

A baby blue vintage ford mustang is parked beside the kiosk. The windows are rolled down and feet in mangled black converse hang from the passenger’s side. The car roof is all that keeps the occupants from frying under the west coast summer sun.

“Won’t your dad notice all the footprints you are leaving?”

Kylo breaks off the top of the melted cherry red popsicle and stares up at the car’s smudged interior. He doesn’t reply.

“I have a feeling he will make you hoover the car out once he sees the state of it.” Kylo hears Hux swipe his fingers across the leather.

“You are kidding, right?” Kylo swallows the chunk of flavoured ice. “He brings more dirt in here than I do.”

“Well, if he does, I am not helping.”

Kylo looks up. Hux is sat on the back seats, staring out of the window as he takes a decisive bite out of his blue popsicle. The melting ice drips and a spot of aqua blue appears on the front of Hux’s pink and white striped shirt.

The watery slop of starbucks iced coffee sloshes in the cup on the dashboard as the car rocks with the shift of Kylo’s shoulders.

This morning, Kylo decided to “borrow” his dad’s prized car and go into the city. After driving through the boulevards, he parked outside Hux’s shared condo and slammed on the car horn until someone shoved a bleary eyed Hux out onto the balcony.

Kylo persuaded him to get dressed in ten minutes and go to the gas station convenience store on the edge of the city to get ice cream. The said ice cream are dirt cheap popsicles that Kylo swears are just not the same in the other couple of dozen grocery stores that exist throughout LA.

Along the way, Kylo stopped for iced coffee that had him jumping in his seat at stop lights. Now, there is a small pile of popsicle wrappers lying on the car peddles and back seats.

Kylo sneezes. Dust motes whirl in the hot air.

“See? You are bringing in dust,” Hux mumbles around a mouthful of ice.

“No.” Kylo throws his popsicle stick out of window overhead. “It’s the hair from your mongrel ferret.”

A chunk of ice splats on Kylo’s chin.

“Millicent is not a mongrel, or a ferret!”

Kylo jerks up, trying to catch the melting chunk as it falls down to his collarbone.

“She is a Scottish fold munchkin cat and she is better than anything you will ever be!” Hux shouts and another piece of ice is lobbed at Kylo, this time landing on the spot of skin where his vest rucked up over his stomach.

Kylo scrambles up in a mess of limbs that kick the air as he grapples for the lump of ice.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Hux asks when Kylo rearranges himself in the car, feet crinkling in the hoard of packets on the peddles.

“No, but it’s probably something horrible. Knowing you.” Kylo’s skin feels sticky from the blueberry ice melt. The breeze coming from the window catches cool and the air smells of burnt sugar.

“When you were fifteen, you decided to take the boat your parents bought out onto the lake. You got stuck under a willow and the engine cut out. You only got rescued because the neighbours heard you crying.”

It’s a perk of their parents buying summer houses on the bank of the same lake: Hux remembering things from their childhood Kylo would prefer to never mention again.

“You are saying that like you weren’t there on the boat with me.” This time, it’s Kylo flicking a dried popsicle stick at Hux who bats it away before it hits his face.

“Only because you forced me to.”

A car pulls into the gas station, raising dust clouds on the road. The air is thick with heat and the metal of the car burns Kylo’s arm when he hangs it out of the window. Kylo’s thighs make the leather of the seat squeak and sweat clings under his fringe.

Kylo takes the hem of his vest and pulls it off over his head. He uses the fabric to wipe his face and neck – already ruined from being worn on a hot summers day in a humid car.

Dropping the vest on the floor, Kylo reclines in the seat. His bare back catches on the leather upholstery and his shorts, that barely classify as shorts, bunch up on his thighs.

“Your mouth is red.”

Kylo turns. Hux is leaning between the two front seats, his shades are slipping off his hair that is soft of the usual globs of product. He is wearing old jeans that are ripped at the knees and white oxfords. Kylo doesn’t know how he hasn’t melted under those layers.

“Yeah, and yours is blue,” he says.

“You promised to share your ice cream.” Hux cocks his head, pale eyes with pinprick pupils hold Kylo victim. “I gave you mine.”

“Oh fuck.” Kylo turns away and looks ahead at the cracked road. “Yeah. Forgot.” He shrugs. “Well, it’s all gone now.”

“Not all of it.”

Hux moves before Kylo understands what he means. He climbs between the seats and Kylo throws himself back against the door, shouting for an explanation as Hux kneels over him and cuts off his escapes with his arms.

Kylo is falling down, head thudding on the door handle, and Hux follows him. He ducks against the battering hands to smudge a kiss across Kylo’s lips and lick where the red dye collected on the seams.

Hux lets go and Kylo scrubs his mouth with the backs of his hands, spluttering.

Smacking his lips together, Hux says, “There, got a taste.”

Kylo stills and slowly looks up at Hux. “You piece of shit!” Kylo shouts and starts rabbit kicking him, but he ends up in sputters of laughter that he shares with Hux.

They collapse inside the humid car, skin damp with sweat, breath hot in the space that remains between them. Laughter slows and Kylo holds Hux by his shoulders to keep him from tipping off his vantage.

Kylo’s feet are perched on the passenger side window. Anyone looking inside could see Hux lying on top of him. Kylo knows what this must look like. He doesn’t care.

“If you do that again, I’ll…” Kylo starts. His face feels tight with laughter. “I’ll—” He catches himself smiling.

“You will what?”

“I won’t stop you.”

Hux looks at Kylo with lazy eyes. His shades are lost somewhere in the car. The collar of his shirt is haphazard and his cheeks are bright with colour.

Kylo thinks Hux will laugh and push aside his words. He doesn’t wait for Hux to lean down and kiss him in the hot, humid air.

But when he does, Kylo’s lips welcome him, tasting of sweet summer berries and sticky with sugar.

Hux’s lips feel like a thousand regrets and stupid decisions mixed into one moment Kylo never wants to take back. His hands go down Hux’s shoulders to the slope of his back where his shirt is rucked up on his hips. The waist of his jeans is loose and Kylo hooks his thumbs inside to pull Hux closer.

This is his best friend god fucking damn it. They have known each other since Kylo was twelve; Hux was the only jerk willing to follow Kylo around during the summers spent at the lake house to make sure he wasn’t killed by his stupid.

But this doesn’t feel wrong. It feels better than the first sip of cold water. Better than the feeling of ice on his burning skin. Kylo wishes he knew how to let go.

Hux pushes aside Kylo’s hair, grips the roots and holds Kylo against the seat as he catches his lips in a lazy kiss.

A car horn blares outside and Hux jerks up. Kylo’s head falls limp on the seat.

The car honks again. Muffled shouting reaches them.

Hux turns around and shouts back out of the window, “Mind your own fucking business, shithead!” He flips off whoever is on the other side.

Wheels screech and Hux looks down at Kylo, brushing back his hair in the stark light.

“’Shithead’?” Kylo asks. “Really?”

Hux smirks and licks his lips. “You want me to call that guy back so you can have a go?”

Kylo looks up at the car roof. Back at Hux. He smiles. “No. Let’s get out of here.”

 

Somehow, a drive through the city ends up being a second stop at a starbucks drive thru, a diversion to avoid the traffic, a trip to a grocery to buy a pack of BIC lighters and a pause at an ice cream parlour.

By the time they are pulling onto the road where Kylo dragged Hux into the car at the beginning of the escapade, the sun is dipping down over the roof tops and neither of them have mentioned how their lips still taste of each other’s kisses.

The car parks outside the condo. The engine runs while Hux opens the door and gets up from behind the wheel. Kylo takes his place with an unlit cigarette hanging loose between his lips.

“I will see you soon, yeah?” Hux looks over the top of his shades. “At the birthday dinner I got you invited to.”

“Mmhm,” Kylo hums around the cigarette. The keychains rattle against the ignition switch as the old car hitches and coughs.

“Or.”

Kylo looks up. Clouds are purple and orange on the backdrop of the serene blue sky. Hux is stood there, like an endless summer dream. Like some stupid teenage memory in the light of a sunset. Like he doesn’t even know.

“Or.” Hux smiles like he knows what is going on inside Kylo’s head. “You could come back with me. Right now.”

The cigarette drops onto the car floor. “Eh. Yep. Yeah. I could—I could do that.” Kylo rips the ignition key free and stumbles out of the car.

He closes the door and stands in front of Hux, breathing heavily and stupidly hopeful, half-dressed but too gone to feel self-conscious.

Hux cocks his head and steps forward. Kylo doesn’t understand how he never knew that it isn’t fear he felt whenever Hux looked at him like this.

The feeling creeps up his spine and wraps around his neck, making his breath come out in a stutter and jaw clench. A hand is on Kylo’s chest, echoing the feeling, and his nerves are bright with something that burns hotter than fear when Hux leans in and kisses him easy and slow.

Kylo feels like the kid who stood ankle deep in the lake water and saw his strange neighbour for the first time, sitting on the sun heated rocks with his head tipped back. Things have changed. But never how Kylo feels.

“Hold me, you idiot,” Hux says in a kiss dizzy voice and Kylo’s body reacts before he can think. His arms are around Hux like it should have been for years.

Kiss after kiss and Kylo is pressed against the car. Hux is still there, holding him by his neck, lips red. He is smiling. Kylo can't wait to taste the sugar on that mouth again.

“Come on,” Hux tells Kylo, “let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
